I have been talking and writing about conscious anger a lot in these past months. I stand by the importance of conscious anger, for every human being, and especially for Women, who have generally learned to suppress their anger.
One major blockage to using anger and its enormous life force consciously is an emotional fear – of being too much, of being too loud, of being unreasonable, of being not nice, of being a bad person. This emotional fear is the underlying force that keeps you adaptive.
When you’re adaptive, you don’t get to live your life. You get to live someone else’s life – quite likely your parents’ life (informed by their beliefs of what’s good or bad, right or wrong). You might not even know what your life could look life if you did not live for other people’s opinions.
Your fear keeps you dead in that way, because it squashes your aliveness, your uniqueness, your life force, your wisdom, your unpredictability as a force of nature. Your fear keeps you dead, not literally but energetically, emotionally, archetypally, possibly also mentally and physically. It is one of the biggest obstacles to your radical aliveness, your uncontrollable quench for life, your emergence out of adaptivity.
How your fear shows up for example is that you continuously censor yourself: You have something to say, you want to say No, you want to ask a risky question, but you don’t. You’re too scared to say it or to ask it. Your internal critic and survival guide ensure that you aren’t a threat – to your own comfort or that of others.
It is an emotional fear, maybe of being disliked, of being abandoned, of not being loved, of being outcast, of being considered stupid, of being a failure, of getting it wrong.
An emotional fear is an old fear, one that has no other connection to reality right now than that current reality triggers that old fear in you.
Emotional fear is for Healing. That is its wisdom for you. You will need a considerable amount of healing to happen to be able to source something different for yourself, for your life, for your relationships.
Then you get to start using your feeling of Fear consciously to navigate the present moment. That is magical.
As a Woman, you are wired to feel 100% fear consciously. You are archetypally connected to Everything. It means Fear is your ally, and it comes natural to you. You sense so much!
A lot of this information that you receive, your sensitivity, your intuition, your subtle knowing, your noticing of all these little details, are fueled by your fear, and you can learn to make conscious use of that.
That means you can learn to listen to the information that your fear has for you, and you can learn to use it to be in the unknown, to surf in the not knowing, and to take the next step from the information that you find there.
This is where you leave the terrain of mind control – a super effective strategy to avoid feeling fear consciously and to stay safe and adaptive – and enter the terrain of Magic, where, by taking step after step into the unknown, you suddenly end up with the life you love living because it is truly yours.